the email from richard to kayla urgh he blamed all that shit on me! he can die

SexiDaddy07: hey baby. ok, theres something i need to tell you. firstly i want to say that everything that people are saying lately about me and ashley are NOT true. I swear to God everything they have said lately isnt true. and baby, PLEASE read all of this email. i know youre going to just want to stop in the middle and come kill me but baby please read the whole thing. omg this is so hard. kayla i also want to tell you that i love you with all my heart and soul. i really do. ive never loved anyone as much as i love you and i never will. ok another thing i have to say before i tell you this is that i dont like ashley AT ALL. not one bit. never  have. i never liked her and i never will because you are the only girl for me. OK well i understand if you dont want to talk to me anymore after this kayla. i hope youll forgive me because i have no idea what i would do without you. Ok well here it goes. When i first found out that you werent going to come down here i got really upset. I reallllly wanted to see you. And i thought that because you werent comming and i wouldnt get to see you that you wouldnt want to go out with me anymore. People kept telling me that and so i thought it was true. Well anyways i thought you were going to break up with me. Now this was after ashley did that thing at the movies that one time. Anyways im just going to say it. Kayla, i kissed ashley after the time she kissed me at the movies. Baby i am so sorry. You have no idea how bad i wanted to tell you. But you were just going through soooo much and i didnt want to add more to you. But i thought you were going to break up with me and i was really depressed so i dont know. And then i saw her at nicks house one time and she kissed me again. It wasnt like a long kiss or anything. But then after that i called you one night and after we started talking, i asked you if you were going to break up with me since you werent going to get to see me and then you said no. And then you swore that you wouldnt so i knew you werent lying to me. So then after i realized that you werent going to break up with me, i told ashley that we had to stop going places together and stuff. Kayla, sweetheart i SWEAR on my LIFE i wouldnt have done ANY of this if i knew you werent going to break up with me. I thought i was going to lose you. That is the ONLY reason i let her do that stuff. Ok once again what those people have been saying lately IS NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT true i SWEAR. I would tell you. Baby i know you are going to be pissed at me. And i know ive hurt you. Thats the LAST thing that i wanted to do. So kayla i understand if you dont want to be my girlfriend anymore but baby i swear to God thats not what i want. I want to be with you forever. Im just saying that i understand if you dont want to be with me anymore. I REALLY REALLY DEEPLY SINCERELY hope that you will still love me after this kayla because i am never going to stop loving you. I SWEAR i wont EVER do ANYTHING to hurt you ever again. Because now i know that you really want to be with me. But kayla omg you have no idea how much i wanted to tell you. It was like killing me. I wanted to cry every time we were on the phone. But you had all this stuff with the doctors and your mom and i didnt want to make it worse. But i realized last night that the longer i waited to tell you the worse it was going to be. Kayla if you are going to break up with me, which i hope NEVER happens, i want you to know that the past eight months have been heaven to me. Kayla you have no idea how much youve done for me. Ask anyone i know, i am soooooo much better now than i was before we started talking. Kayla you are DEFINATELY the best thing that has ever happened to me. And i still love you with all my heart and i always will. Kayla I have never been more sorry in all my life. I know that being sorry isnt going to change anything. But i am. Kayla, you just have no idea how much you mean to me. And kayla, if you do decide to break up with me, i want you to know that my feelings for you will never die and I REALLY hope you wont stop talking to me all together. I mean I understand if you do but im just telling you that id die if i didnt get to at least be friends with you. But i know thats probably not what you want. But kayla everything ive EVER told you relating to how i feel about you and what i want for us in the future is 100% true. I NEVER lied about loving you or wanting to marry you and have a family together. I also understand if you arent going to break up with me but you dont want to talk to me for a while. I feel like the most horrible person in the entire world kayla. But i also didnt lie about the reason i did that. Kayla if i would have known you werent going to break up with me i wouldnt have even started talking to ashley. If you do break up with me i want you to know that you also made me such a better person. And if it wasnt for you, i might not be here right now so thank you kayla. But please dont leave me. I wasnt going to beg you to stay because i didnt want to make you feel guilty so i swear thats not what im trying to do. But please kayla. If you leave i swear i dont know what im going to do. I just i cant live without you kayla. THere is no way that i can go back to not being with you. I dont know how. I dont know how i did it before. Kayla you are such an enormous part of my life and i really want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please dont leave me kayla. Omg  just dont know what im going to do without you. These past eight, almost nine, months have been the best of my entire life. I have been about fifty times happier than i ever have before. And i know that if you give me another chance i can make you happy too. I just want whatever makes you happy kayla. Thats all i care about. So if being with me isnt going to make you happy then i understand kayla. I just really want that with all my heart. I want to be the one that wipes away your tears when you are crying, not the one that makes you cry. Kayla you are my everything. Since the day we started going out thats how its been. And that is how it is always going to be. Even if you decide that im not who you want to be with. I am never going to find someone else thats anywhere near to being as good as you kayla. OMG please dont leave me kayla. You mean too much to me. Well i guess ill go now. Before i go i want you to know that you are always going to have aplace in my heart kayla. No one will ever be able to take your place. I love you honey. I always will. 
                                                              Christian